1. Original opener- This has to be it. Rock bottom. I am hurting so bad and I hutr people so bad. I had an effect on my family that I could have never forseen. It would be nice to keep telling myself what all the counslelors (namely Carrie) and motivational speakers would repeat over and over, "This is not your fault. Addiction is a disease, like cancer, it is a disease." But it isn't. Drugs are not cancer. There is a big glaring difference. Drugs you choose, consciously. For whatever reason, I chose to do drugs. Reasons that seemed fine at the time, even logical, have since been lost in the mess that I have created.
2. Sweat beads were dripping down my face. My whole body was shaking uncontrollably. In an instant, I felt vomit fill my throat and I ran to the bathroom.
3. Wall to wall, stacks of clothing, paper, and boxes filled the tiny apartment. A family of mice nested in the corner. The stench of garbage filled the air. The resident of this filthy hole had been to distracted to tend to the place in a very long time.
4. I forced my self up from my solitary position on the couch when the doorbell rang. I was torn between locking my self in the closet and opening the door and embracing the person behind it. Butterflies filled my stomach and I took a step towards the door. The closet can wait, I wanted to see my dealer and I needed my drugs.
5. Sara had always been the odd one in the family. She was never quite as tall, or quite as thin. Her hair was a mousy brown, while her parents and siblings had sunny blonde hair. They were all beautiful, social and confident. Sara was none of these things.
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4 comments:
Your first one is my favorite. It is the most descriptive and it also draws the reader in the most.
Your original opener gives a lot of good detail at the exact state Sara is in. But, I really like number 4 because I think it is very intriguing and makes me interested and want to keep reading.
I really like the first one. It tells alot in a little amout of words. Go with the first.
I like the progression of your various openers, because they go from action to characterization to just being descriptive. I like the original one because it gives u options.
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